Dog Vodka

While surfing around on the internet as a I tend to do when I get bored, I came across a recipe for Skittles vodka.  And then I thought, “Hey, I like Skittles.  I like Vodka.  Let’s make this happen.  I wanna taste the rainbow.” 

So yesterday after class, I stopped to pick up some Skittles, vodka, and a case of water bottles. 

Last night, I began.   The first aspect of my work that might have looked bizarre was the assortment of glasses, cups, mugs, and bowls I had strewn all over the table.  Let me explain.  In order for me to do this recipe, I needed empty water bottles.  So I had to empty the water out of the bottles that I had just bought.

Now, I’m of the “waste not, want not” persuasion, so there was no way that I was pouring all of that water down the sink, and I couldn’t find a single container that was large enough to hold it all.  So, instead, I just began to pour the water into whatever cup, mug, glass, vase, or bowl that I could find.  I’m sure that I looked like some insane water hoarder.

Then I began to sort the Skittle and to place them, one at a time, into their corresponding empty water bottles.

All during this process, as I’m meticulously sorting the Skittles into empty water bottles at a table full of assorted water containers, my roommates began to return to the apartment.  Each one walked in, stood by the table watching me, and then walked away.  No one said anything.

I’ve decided this is either for one of two reasons:

Reason 1:

That’s just the way I am.  I’m weird.  Returning to the apartment and seeing me hunched over the dining room table as I sort Skittles into water bottles like a gorilla mom picking lice off of a baby chimp, is nothing exciting.  Just an average day in my life.

Even, if they walked in and I was chopping up body parts dressed as a psycho clown, I don’t think that they would care.

"Oh, there goes that crazy Tiffany again.  What she doing today?  Chopping someone up while in a clown costume.  Okay, whatever.  Who wants pizza?"

Reason 2:

The Vodka.  

There I was being my normal crazy self beside a very large bottle of vodka.  Which may have caused them to think I’d had a little bit too much to drink before deciding that I needed to start some crazed Skittle experiment.

Once the I was finished, the Skittles were left to dissolve in vodka; however, the problem arose of what to do with all of the remaining water.  I couldn't leave all of those glasses of water on the table.

There was only one solution… Dog Vodka.

I cleaned the empty vodka bottle and put all of the water inside.  I now use that Smirnoff bottle full of water to fill my dog’s water bowl--my dog only deserves the best. 

I can hardly wait for my parents to visit so that they can see how responsible and mature I am when I pour my dog a long stiff bowl of the good stuff.