Wonderland?

The only time I’m ever near the “magical” bathroom is when I’m at work.  Therefore, it’s extremely difficult for me to spend as much time as I want exploring the bathroom.  That’s right.  I went back.  And this time, I opened the door.

Yesterday, while I was working, I decided it would be a good time for a bathroom break.  I didn’t have any more filing. I’d finished most of my research tasks.  I had some free time.  So down the hall towards the bathroom I went.

I didn’t really need to use the bathroom all that bad, but I figured I’d get that out of the way before I went up the staircase.

 After my transaction was complete, I washed my hands (because that is important) and mentally prepared myself for the journey ahead.  The mantra constantly repeating in my head:

—What’s behind the door?—

—What’s behind the door?—

—What’s behind the door?—

I moved around the side hallway and into the room full of mirrors. 

—What’s behind the door?—

I even did some disco moves for old time’s sake.

—What’s behind the door?—

Step by grueling step, I climbed.

—What’s behind the door?—

I reached my hand out to touch the door knob.

—What’s behind the door?—

I firmly grasped it and gave it a twist.

—What’s behind the door?—

I flung the door open and…

Now here is where I’m going to stop for a minute and explain something to you.  This is my magical place, and I almost don’t feel like sharing.  Because it wasn’t a janitor’s closet, it was something else. 

I’m only going to tell you now because it would be extremely rude for me to build up anticipation and then let you down.  Besides, that would hardly encourage viewers to follow my blog.  And the more people that follow my blog, the more I feel the need not to disappoint them. 

It’s a vicious cycle.  But I digress…

Now where was I?

Oh yeah…

I flung the door open and entered into the magical bathroom realm.

I’ve decided that the door no longer leads to Narnia, but instead has more in common with Wonderland.

After entering the room, there was a small square roomish area full of five different closed doors—not including the one I’d just come out of; so, there was a total of six doors.  The only other object in the room (no it wasn’t a table with a key on it) was a large drink machine.  And as I stared at the drink machine, I couldn’t help but have Lewis Carroll’s words—“Drink Me”—pop into my head. 

I swear that if there was some money anywhere on me at that moment, I’d have bought a Coke and prepared to shrink. However, it was fortunate that I didn’t have money to waste because in hindsight, I need to save my money for my Grand Tour of Europe.  Every dollar counts.

However, it was at this moment, I realized that I didn’t give myself enough time to explore this magical bathroom world.  I honestly hadn’t expected there to be anything so potentially vast behind the door.  So as my bathroom break was now pushing into indecent limits, I had to return to the office.

Besides, I didn’t want to get lost by going further down the rabbit hole.  If I’d gotten lost, it might have taken hours to get back to work, and I can only imagine the trouble I would have been in. 

Also, there was the nagging notion that maybe I’d end up somewhere I shouldn’t and the Queen of Heart’s would have my head removed.  So before I could forget which of the six doors I’d entered through, I went back into the bathroom and returned to work.

Next time, I think it would be best if I went to the bathroom after I’m finished with work for the day.  That way, I’ll have time to explore without feeling the need to return to work.   Unfortunately, I’ll probably never remember to think about the bathroom when I get off of work, as I’m too busy trying to run out of the office before someone stops me.

And Behind the Secret Door in the Hidden Room Is...

I was gonna do today’s blog on the Girl Scouts; however, that was before I found a magical bathroom.

That’s right.  Magical.  Bathroom. 

Almost like the Chamber of Secrets, except I don’t have to go down a toilet.

Today, while at work, I really, really, really, really had to pee.  And, as I am still getting accustomed to the school, I left my desk and wandered randomly down the hall until I found a door with the picture of little woman on it.

After opening the door, it looked like a regular old bathroom; however, I quickly discovered it was so much more.  Behind the sinks and mirrors was a completely separate room full of nothing but full-length mirrors.  I debated on whether to reenact the ballet studio scene from Twilight, but decided on doing some funky 80s dance moves.

While getting my boogie on, I noticed that in the corner was another opening.  So before I could break out the funky chicken, I began to walk towards the opening and realized that there was a staircase.

The need to pee completely forgotten in the discovery of a hidden staircase, I began the ascent.  I was Sleeping Beauty climbing, spellbound, towards my finger prick.  I was conquering Mount Everest.  Blazing a trail up into the unknown.

After reaching the final step, stood a lone door.  As I reached for the door, I stopped with my hand clutched tightly around the handle….

Thoughts raced through my head.  I might have actually found a portal into Narnia!  Or even some way out of the Matrix.  Then again, What if I ended up in Wonderland?  Would Johnny Depp be waiting on the other side?   Maybe Mr. Rochester’s crazy wife, Bertha, was waiting to claw at my face.

Then my more pessimistic/realistic side took over.  What if it was just some boring janitor’s closet?

Stupid Left Brain.  You had to ruin the excitement.

As I stood debating, the need to pee once again took hold and broke the spell that had taken hold of me.  I went back down the stairs and completed my original course of action.

After all, you don't want to enter Narnia with a full bladder.  There aren't really bathrooms in Narnia -- at least not ones with decent plumbing.  And besides, I'd just end up wiping myself with sticks and leaves.  Which is just gross in the first place, but doubly weird because the trees there are alive.  And how awkward would that be -- apologizing to a tree for wiping your... but I digress.

After finishing my business, I decided that I like the idea of the unknown far better than boring certainty.  So I left the bathroom and went back to work before I was tempted to re-climb the stairs and uncover the truth about the secret door.

Besides, I’ve decided to return to the bathroom at a later date, just to see if the secret room still exists.  It was so real, but I might have imagined the whole thing.  I do have an active imagination… and a slightly psychotic personality—at least that’s what people tell me. 

The need to pee may have made me delusional.

However, if some day in the future, my blog mysteriously vanishes and I’m never heard from again, know that I’ve finally opened that door and found something so amazing that I may never come back.