Educational Alcohol at 8 O'clock in the Morning

For the last two days, I’ve been drinking non-stop from 8 a.m. – 6 p.m.  And before you think I’m a drunken alcoholic, reconsider.  This wasn’t just drinking.  This was tasting.  I’m currently enrolled in a wine class at USC, which means that I have to drink for academic purposes.  That’s right – academia.

Now, not only was I “forced” to drink 40 different varieties of wine on Saturday and Sunday, but I also had to learn everything that has ever been learned about wine.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t that seem contradictory?

They want me to drink a ton of wine—to the point that I have a nice buzz—then they want me to learn stuff.  I may not be a teacher, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t a good idea.

“Drink this.  And this.  Oh this too.  Now, what type of soil is famous in the Médoc Region of the Loire Valley in France?”

Drinking makes people act like stupid idiots; however, the teachers from the Master Sommelier Guild demanded perfect memory recall.  Then again, they’re Master Sommeliers—they must have built an extreme alcohol immunity.  Unfortunately, I hadn’t built that high a tolerance.  Which made this one of the hardest classes I have ever taken. 

Trying to remember everything about wine from France, Italy, Spain, New Zealand, Australia, South America, South Africa, Portugal, Madeira, and the U.S. along with information on beer, spirits, and wine serving techniques is hard enough sober.  But I had to do it buzzed.

But if you’re wondering, I passed the final exam—but barely.  I’m excited to announce that I’m officially an introductory level sommelier.

And what do you think I did after passing this exam?  A smarter person probably would have gone home and slept or watched the Super Bowl with some friends, but I never claimed to be a smarter person—especially after consuming glass after glass of wine.  I just had to celebrate this momentous occasion.

Now how to celebrate?  I know!  Champagne!  So a fellow classmate and I went to the nearest bar and celebrated by drinking yet another couple glasses of wine (including champagne) and eating victory cheesecake.

Weekend well spent.